The Zoo

It’s not every day you wake up and immediately find yourself in the distinguished company of the top four or five percent of the population – I’m making the most of my new found status, as it could change any day now. I relish my new found sense of accomplishment, realizing that such a feat is not easily attainable. The risk itself is enough to make some cringe and back out at the last minute.

The benefits certainly are overwhelming. For example, rather than motivational speaking tours, I am able to make long anticipated trips to the zoo, displaying to little elementary school kids everywhere, that they too will someday, if they apply themselves, walk around this park with their heads held high in pride.

With a stalwart bloody mary-screw driver-mimosa pregame under my belt, I march past the lion sentinels and into the National Zoo. It’s been a good five years or so since stepping into a sanctuary of caged beasts. This place is a huge crap shoot. Some of them know you are coming, and hide behind bushes. Thank God it’s free. After a couple hours meandering I leave with one conclusion: there needs to be a certain time when adults can visit, and certain times when children can, OR double the quantity of animals and make two parks: one for adults and one for children/families.